I was a kid when I accepted Jesus into my heart… and what the heck that meant I didn’t know. I just herd it was a way of staying outta hell. So I lived kinda “good” trying to act like the christian I was supposed to be, adhering to moral guidelines and all that jazz. I didn’t personally know who God was, I just herd different stuff from the folks at church about him. But I thought that I knew what being a christian was all about. When I was a teenager I started feeling really strange at church or when I thought about God. I thought I was either mentally unstable or there actually was a God. A God that I thought I had known about but really, until then hadn’t become anything more than a fairytale. I eventually came to the concussion that God was real. What that had to do with the bible, all the different religions or my personal life – I wasn’t sure about and I didn’t let his existence influence me too much. I started drinking, I stole alcohol, I smoked, I made out with my friends girlfriend, and started hanging around drug dealers, and all the while I knew what was right but said to myself the bible doesn’t REALLY say in particular ”thou shalt not make out with thine friends gal” and it doesn’t say I can’t drink it just says don’t get drunk (but every time I drank I got drunk). And eventually I had worked myself into one heck of a messed up life and realized something had to change. I looked back on all my alcoholism and realized that nothing good had ever come from it and that my life was all screwed up because of it. I realized then that the rules in the bible aren’t there to ruin my fun but are there to help me have the most fun. “Have life and have it to the full”. I started listening to the feelings I received and making sure they lined up with the Bible. Talking to God about things that were going on in life and understanding how to live through an actual relationship with a real God.
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